Chasing the birds away…

So, maybe I’m turning cuckoo?

The past two weeks have been spent redoing a chaotic yard, which may have inadvertently reflected my life, into a beautiful canvas of dirt.

I wouldn’t say my life is dirt but maybe dirt with life ready to sprout! Thankfully this isn’t Hitchcock’s “The Birds” otherwise, I’d have no eyes. My yard on the other hand is experiencing a terrifying venture into a realm only seen in the movies. It’s being pecked to death!

I feel like a peeper, except the only satisfaction I’m getting is watching a yard with no pigeons. Who knew pigeons liked to hang out in the desert? I had no idea but they are everywhere! Apparently, the pigeon express exists because a memo pecked in bird-speak has been sent out across the land informing all, that grass seed has been strewn about! So now I’m the crazy lady because the moment I see them…I come flying out the door like a wild banshee, flailing arms and all….shooing the beasts away.

I think they are on to me. I envision a “watch” bird on the roof, just waiting for me to leave. The call goes out and the whole friggin’ family arrives. I see Moms, Dads, sisters, bros, the cousin no one talks about….the kid who has no manners and that damn Uncle who smells. It’s a smorgasbord of birdy treats.

So yesterday I’m thinking hard about this situation and come to the realization that these birds have a brain the size of a pea and mine is humongous! I can out smart these pigeon-toers! So I get my bird seed out, which looks much more delectable than bland grass seed. Theres corn, sunflower seeds, other seed that I have no idea what they are, but if I were a bird, would find quite attractive!  I send the man of the house out to the back yard and direct him on where to throw the seed, everywhere but where the grass seed is. I was like a great composer and the seed was my instrument. I directed it here…and there, around the fence, on the pathway. I made it easy to enjoy a meal without having to get a beak dirty. I’m a f’n genius! I said this to myself of course…but I am.

Today, dinner time, I have a birds-eye view of my backyard. The neighbors across the way are dealing with the same issue of impending doom, lots of dirt…no seed. But they were smart and spread chicken shit, literally, with their seed. They thought they were geniuses too. Turns out..birds don’t mind the smell of other bird shit. I’m watching the birds eat their buffet over there, I’ll admit, chuckling to myself about my brilliant idea when BAM! A mother effin’ bird comes swooping in my yard. Does she go to the beautiful array of birdy food I laid out like a bouquet of Valentine flowers? No, that little pitch starts pecking away at my dirt. I leap from the seat, almost trip over my son’s chair only to fall against the door instead of open it. Loud bangs don’t faze her and as I get my bearings, she looks at me as if to say, “Nice job genius, thanks for the dirty seed…ha ha ha”. There may have been steam, my eyes may have turned red, I believe the hair was standing on my neck like a cat ready to pounce on her prey and in slow motion…I’m pushing the door open, my arms are swinging to pump me for my sprint and as I reach the end of my patio she takes off….right above me and off she goes, a trail of shit landing in her wake.

The fight continues…..

Tomorrow I’ll be propped in the door way with my hose, ready to blister this competition away.

God save the Grass!

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I Think She’s Cuckoo, Not for Cocoa Puffs

Where, oh where do I begin? Let’s start with this: My neighbor might be cuckoo.

‘Might” is relative. To tell such a cuckoo story, one must begin, well…at the beginning.

I won’t lie, I’m a bit of a recluse. I have friends of course but when it comes to my wee castle, I stay in. I watch t.v., I play with my son, I cook dinner and I play on the internet. I like my time and hey, I don’t really like being bothered. Time is precious and though I’m young as everyone likes to point out, Life is short…no if’s and’s or buts about it!

So, let’s say September time frame, I start chatting with my neighbor. I’m in the backyard and she’s talking to the nice lady who lives behind us and it turns out, someone broke into her house. This is astonishing. Why? Because we live in what you’d call a gated community with armed men in uniform at all gates. Not something that typically happens on a…government installation. Her husband is away, for awhile, so it’s her and her kid. We start to talk, and after a few days we talk more. To cut this part slightly shorter…the house keeps getting broken into and no one is taking it seriously. I’m a little freaked and try to watch when I can. Now as a side-note and a very important part in all this, it turns out we have a few things in common. We both read Tarot cards and hence, our spiritual side is similar. I’m Wiccan, I guess. I’m baptized Catholic which means I potentially could drink a lot and love bread…with a side of butter please. But, I was jaded in high school and found Wicca. I’m what you would call a solitaire witch and think Covens are full of crazies who claim to be eclectic, or are full of dungeons and dragons players that took the game a little too far. Just my opinion but my luck with covens has been like a severe nerd-fest and I was worried it would rub off. Anywho, it’s good to note that against popular beliefs, Wicca is a very pleasant religion. It’s Earth based and goes by the seasons. And one more important fact that I would ask you to remember through this reading because it will come back…witch’s cast spells. Spells are like prayers and the number one rule is, you don’t cast spells against others or it comes back three-fold. I have enough bad luck as it is….so this is one rule I stick to.

Now, let’s jump forward a little. My neighbor, seemed to be paranoid. Some of this was a given considering the situation but some things were just ridiculous. In the heat of the moment I dared not say anything because as we ladies know, you don’t want to tell another lady she’s wrong or…cuckoo. But, she would swear to things that were just impossible or take one little thing and turn it into the Alps. I could have skied down her fears and paranoia. In the end, they are pretty sure they figured out who it was. This was after she had her locks changed twice, put her own security camera’s up, put in flood lights, had the cops driving by every night and had her friend and neighbor…me, watching her house like a hawk. I can’t tell you the numerous things we did for her. She even called the cops on my husband once because she thought he was the burglar. If she would of just looked through her peep-hole, she would have seen it was him.

So now it’s Thanksgiving, her husband is back and we ask them if they want to combine food and eat together. We did and it was great! They had delicious southern dishes and I had my mama’s recipes from the west. MMM MMM good. Then the boys watched football and we read Tarot. My reading for her was pretty right on. She couldn’t stop dwelling on the “person’s” in question and really, was driving herself crazy. The reading she did for me was astounding and it is because of her and that reading, that my marriage went from not so good to grand. And though she may be cuckoo…as a side-note, I will always be grateful for what she told me.

I’m going to backtrack slightly. She is into psychics, Feng-Shui, has had her house “cleansed” and constantly gets readings and help from many in the spiritual profession.  I’m not the opposite but it’s rare that I seek these things.

January, I saw her outside the house as I was going back to work. I hadn’t chatted with her and pulled up to see her. She asked me if I was mad at her because somebody spilled colored dye all over her driveway. I told her that no I wasn’t, in fact I wanted to thank her again because Hubby and I were doing fantastic. I mentioned that I hadn’t seen anything nor did I see the dye. She said she had cleaned it. Apparently I’m not very observant cause I still don’t know where it spilled or what color it was. I left and went to work.

3 weeks ago I’m chillin’ on the couch, minding my business when I get a phone call. It’s her and she sounds stressed. She just left a new psychic she was trying out and apparently this “psychic” told her I was…and I QUOTE..”Burning candles” on her. Now, I consider myself pretty damn smart…in fact, I may be a genius in small circles but I’ll be damned if I’d ever heard this phrase. Confused, I asked her what the hell that meant? She told me her psychic was positive, POSITIVE,l that I was casting spells on her and that I was not to be trusted. Well! First I laughed because..I didn’t know what else to do. This was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. I told her:

1. I haven’t burned a candle in 6 months for spells and that the last candle I lit was 2 days before that. The candle I burned was one I made and totally screwed up and thought I would test it to see if it collapsed on itself.

2. The golden rule, I don’t cast spells on people and if I do a spell for someone, I always get permission cause it takes that nasty 3-fold rule out of the picture 🙂

3. I have nothing against her…at all. In fact, I like her so why would I do something so ridiculous.

Then she goes on to tell me that this loon of a lady told her I know the chick that was breaking in to her house. Another impossibility! I still don’t know who she is. I know she works at the grocery store here on base but I don’t shop there…I’m a Whole Foods girl.

I told her that I don’t know why this woman would say such a thing but that it was out in left field and completely untrue. Our conversation changed to what’s been going on personally and I ended it with telling her to call me and let me know if she found out anything.

I didn’t hear from her.

Two days ago, I check my mail and get my utility bill. It’s not pretty and I notice some major issues. I’m in a panic and tell my husband that I’m going to  my neighbor to see if she’s got the same problem.

The door was open, I knock, her husband tells me to come in. I ask if he got his bill and he said yes and that it was huge. I asked when wifey would be home, he said he was leaving and that she’d be home soon. I say I’ll come back when she gets home and off I go. I watched for her but it started getting late and I had to make dinner. So I figured I’d leave it for the next day.

Yesterday, I go to work and am waiting on hubby so he can take me to the property management office. I plan on letting loose and getting all this years frustration out on whoever the poor girl is working at the desk that day. I’m pissed! I look down and realize I missed a call from an “Unknown” number. And I think, probably a bill collector but…turns out they left a message and guess who it’s from? Oh yeah…Mrs. Cuckoo. The message was short and to the point, ‘hubby told her I stopped by and that he was uncomfortable with me there without cuckoo and frankly so was she. She didn’t want me over and thought “We had discussed this last time we talked”. And she hung up.

What the Fu…aaack? First, I was shaking. I was so pissed/upset and offended that I couldn’t think straight. Second, I wanted retaliation..I wanted confrontation. But then I thought…why? She obviously believes the loon and constantly needs direction from people she doesn’t know. If she can’t go with her own gut then she’s  missing a big piece of what life is about. No one has all the answers and most psychics are full of shit. I actually felt more grounded and in tune with myself realizing how out of tune my neighbor is.

But this brings on other issues. She is paranoid which means anything that happens in that house..will be directed towards me. I know this because I saw her do it to others and now I’m thinking that a lot of what happened was imagined and that all the issues she thinks she has in that house (ghosts, bad juju) are caused by her and nothing else. As I write this, they have their music banging through my walls…yes, the house is connected, YAY me!

I talked to God last night. I do this often. It’s funny cause I always do it in bed when I’m about to fall asleep. It goes something like this:

“Dear God, I need some help. I do not want to dwell on this stupid bitch. How could she think such a thing and now I’ve got a utility bill I can’t pay. How am I going to pay it? I need a second job. I wish Erik would turn over and stop snoring. Don’t forget Elias has no school on Friday. Oh shit, Dear God I need…shit, Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven, give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. AMEN.”

Sometimes I’m Catholic….

Going Down in Flames…stopped his insanity.

First, before I start my own rant, I want to make it VERY VERY clear, that I do not condone what Mr. Joseph Stack did in Austin today. Having said that….here we go.

Before reading anything else via foxnews.com, I read what is now being dubbed as his “Manifesto“. I couldn’t help but think to myself, that if I was not reading a suicide letter, I would have agreed with almost everything he said. 

Am I insane? No, I don’t think so. Though in many circles, considering I just answered myself..I may be. What’s scary about the situation is this man was right in how he felt. Constantly getting burned by the system while the corrupt or lazy get a free ride. Was he on the edge? Obviously, but crazy…not so sure. It would be easy to label him as such, to get the broom and sweep this guy under the rug.  But just for a second, maybe we can concentrate on the message and not the messenger. Again, this was a tragedy in many senses of the word.

We live in a Country that has become complicated, lost, underestimated, tired and lively. Many people speak out on many different issues. Some are worthy of listening, some are a joke. What kind of Country do we live in when a man like this thinks or believes, this is the only way anyone will listen.  Would anyone have listened to his rant? Would anyone have cared? Will anyone read this and actually listen instead of judging. Who knows though I can assure you, I have no plans of offing myself or anyone else. One thing I have to believe in is things will get better and I can only pray that we don’t turn into a country where violence begins to represent our beliefs.

Back to the “Manifesto”. He writes of his story, his ups and downs, how many times he lost his retirement, how many times he got screwed by “The Man”.

Look around friend’s and foe’s. We are in a downward spiral and I don’t think a couple of pieces of candy will be at the bottom leading me to grow bigger or smaller. This is no adventure, though a white rabbit is leading the way. It’s become the 500lb gorilla but everyone keeps petting it like it’s a cute little hoppy, plushy pet. I have to ask myself why everything has become so complicated? I pay my bills, I have searched and searched for work, I pay daycare even when my son isn’t present. I see the doctor’s that write off an illness that’s serious into something mundane. I see criminals getting away with it again and again and I see politicians who give two shits about you or me. Something has changed and I don’t think it’s us, it’s the system. Somewhere in our young, old age…we lost. What’s depressing is, some of us don’t care anymore. We dance around the ring but no one wants to go in for the knock out. We want to complain and vent, but no one wants to say it when it counts. We’ve become Meek. I want to inherit the Earth…but not without knowing I fought for what was right.

If those in office who have the power only by those who have voted them in actually listened to what we are screaming everyday, maybe we would have a chance. But they won’t. Their agenda is blind and I never thought I’d say it but I’m almost sick of all of them, even my own party. I wish we could start over. Take out all the bullshit and sit quietly around a table rereading our Bill of Rights and the Constitution. It was all we needed to guide us in the right direction. That direction has been skewed, stretched, flipped and torn apart.

I could go on, about everything that has gone wrong but one thing is right; We, the people of the United States, have the power to make change. Not “Change we can believe in”..cause if I hear that bull one more time, I might just hurl all over my keyboard. How about change that is real, tangible. I want to touch it, smell it…taste it.

Joseph Stack will go down in history as a terrorist, as did Timothy McVey. Nobody listened to either of them and what followed was disaster, pain, and was not necessary if good ole’ Washington D.C. had taken two seconds to shut up and listen.

Where did our Compassion go?

The other night, I sat in front of my TV with millions of others as the Sheriff department announced they found the body of Jessie Davis and her unborn daughter.

My heart broke.

A few days before that, I sat watching the news while they talked of a ring of Pedophiles caught and 31 children rescued from these horrendous animals.

I talked of these cases recently on a forum I frequent and was astonished at how many people have lost their compassion.

They question why this or that story is more important then another story. Why is this girl special? Why are any of these stories special?

They aren’t. There are stories that we never hear of. As I type this, someone is dying a horrible death, some child is being raped by a pedophile, some are dying of starvation, while others are killing each other.

I suppose if we let our hearts bleed for all, no blood would be left to sustain ourselves. But that’s not the way I think. 

Within our world is a balance of extremes; Extreme hot vs. cold, wet vs. dry and so on. People are the same. Extreme right vs. left, good vs. evil, hate vs. love, compassion vs. indifference. I’ve talked of extremes before. They are needed in this world so that we know the difference of such things. Without extremes we couldn’t come together and compromise.

It seems these days, less are willing to compromise. So the extremes are making up the majority and ruling.

I would consider myself an extreme when it comes to Compassion. I take things personally, to heart and I can’t help it. My heart is on my sleeve, exposed to the elements,  the negativity and the helpless feelings.

I was stationed at Dover AFB, Delaware for 6 years. I saw the remains of the U.S.S. Cole victims come in on our ramp, I watched the fallen soldiers of Iraq and Afghanistan come thru and the astronauts from the Columbia Disaster.

I remember standing in the Tower, giving a NASA aircraft permission to land. It had been a few weeks since the Columbia disaster and I wasn’t prepared. They landed, parked on the ramp in front of the tower and began unloading caskets. The rest of the controllers saw this, turned back around and continued their joking and conversation. I was horrified.

I stood there and said a silent prayer and paid my respects as I always did when I saw fallen heroes come through. What I wanted to do after that was turn around and ask what was so important that they couldn’t give two seconds of their time to recognize what was right in front of them. But I didn’t. Instead, when I got home I called my Father and asked him why they didn’t care. He told me I was full of passion and that others just don’t see it as I do. He told me some people are afraid to care and some people just don’t care at all.

How depressing. And yet, sometimes I think they might be lucky. As they move on with their lives, I sit and remember the ones lost. Sometimes I lose sleep, sometimes I cry for them and I always talk to God about them. You could say I question my faith at times,  wondering why such innocence is lost. My only fear is that there is nothing after this life and they suffered something horrible for nothing.

An aquaintance asked me if I was alright the other day, he said I was taking everything to personal. If I don’t then who will? I know I’m not the only one, but we seem to be a dying breed.

Yet, hundreds of people came out to help find Jessie Davis. Many people worked together, seeing things most of us could never fathom, to catch a ring of over 700 pedophiles. Fireman risk their lives everyday putting out fires to save others. Our troops are fighting a war to help stabalize a Country which isn’t even ours. Policeman are roaming our streets trying to catch criminals, killers, drunk drivers. Others are volunteering, helping out those whos needs exceed our own.

What would this world be like if we didn’t have people who put others before themselves? It would be a pretty sad world.

So the next time you hear or read of a story where someone’s child has gone missing, a soldier has lost his life, a drunk Driver killed an innocent; Put yourself in that family’s place. You would want justice if it was close to you, you would want to find your loved one and you would hope that other’s felt just an ounce of what you are feeling, hoping someone would help.

Hope is Compassion and without it, we are cold and unforgiving.

Screaming Banshee : Paris Back to jail

Judge orders Paris Back to Jail. FOR 45 DAYS!!!!

 LINKY

Paris left Screaming and crying, “It’s not Right! Mommmm!”

 

WOW People…too funny.

TMZ

UPDATE::

Greta Van Susteren was in the courtroom and thinks Paris needs medical attention. Paris was shaking, twitching, quivering…and apparently looks very sickly. She also said in her “un-medical” opinion, she needs to see a doctor.

Interesting. Maybe the lesson has already been taught?

Back to Jail :

The Paris Parade…on the way to the Jail House…pass by the Circus.

Ironic?

Paris Pulls the Sick Card

TMZ.com reported it first and everyone else has been following suit.

 

Now it’s confirmed, Paris is out of Jail and on House Arrest.

Oh Brother. But are we surprised?

Of Course not, I knew she couldn’t do it, you knew she couldn’t do it.

What’s sad is that it’s Breaking News and I, myself, am helping that runaway train.

 Lame Lame Lame.

Car Chase Confuses Crook

So I’m watching Fox News and they break in with a Fox News Alert.

A burglar(home invasion) in Denver (Westminster) took off in a stolen Nissan Xterra.

He’s driving around and pulls around a corner, stops the vehicle, jumps out and starts running.

stupidcriminal.jpg

So he runs for …mmm…maybe a block, quite pitifully I might add, then does one of those “Looney Toon” skipping halts, turns around and starts running back to the car.

stupidcriminal1.jpg

??? What the hell is this guy thinking? Hysterical.

 At this point, they aren’t sure if he’s been apprehended or not yet.

They locked down two schools in the area and warned residents to stay inside.

UPDATE: SWAT is looking for him in Conifer Landing Apts

You can see live footage here.